Wet n Wild for beginners

wet n wild slides 2

My kind of tantrum

Wet n Wild, Sydney

A few years back a group of friends and I had a theme park weekend on the Gold Coast (don’t judge). My 30 something friend James believes our trip to Wet n Wild was the best day of his life. I’m not exaggerating.

So when I heard that Wet n Wild was opening a theme park 53 minutes from my house in Western Sydney, I was a little excited. Sure, it has taken me 18 months to get in the car and drive there, but I was pumped.

I don’t know what it is I love about water parks. On one level there is something almost primordial walking around for an entire day in just your swimmers, no mobile phone or cash.

I also generally have the bravery of a fruit fly when it comes to theme parks, but there’s something about the hydraulics of a 21st century water slide that makes me almost brave. Almost.

Early last Sunday morning the Travelling Barista and I made the schlep west, arriving at three minutes past the 10am opening time.

We wanted to be prepared and get in early. Due to my slight dustiness reading in the car was a not an option, which prohibited me from doing any online research. Which meant I made many rookie errors. Readers, so history does not repeat, here are my tips:

wet n wild entrace

Passport check point Wet n Wild at the END of the day. Note earlier scenes of chaos

  1. Get a fast past. Once you have paid the entry fee, posed for your photo and completed your application you have a visa to enter the republic of WnW. The process is so laborious we completely ignored the small man selling fast pass wristbands. Big mistake. We ended up queuing for close to an hour per ride by lunch time. Not wild.
  2. Take your own food. It is deep fried crazy. And not in a good way. You can smuggle in your own food just as long as it is not ‘commercially prepared’ nudge nudge wink wink’
  3. Be strategic. Head for the ‘scariest’ rides first, they are the most popular and you won’t have chance after lunch. Unless you have a fast pass. Refer to point one.
  4. Be prepared to splash the cash. The entry fee is only half of it. There’s the locker ($12), the parking ($10) and food and drinks ($50 for two).
  5. Embrace the soundtrack. Full volume top 40 you cannot escape and might haunt you for a week. Pitbull style.
wet n wild beach

A Western Sydney ‘beach’

6. Upon entry find a shady spot ASAP. By 10.15 the ‘beach’ area looked like a Costa Brava package holiday. Without naked Germans.

7. If you have followed points 1 to 6 then embrace it my friends. The rides are so much fun, you’ll be screaming like a teenager at a Bieber concert. In a noncreepy way. (Special shout out to the Tantrum and the Half pipe kids).

Overall score: 7.8

wet n wild 1

Scream it kids




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